This is a personal post. This post will be incredibly vague and ill-informed. It will reveal a side of me that is extremely emotional, rash, and indecisive.
It will reveal a side of me full of regret.
It will most importantly reveal a side of me that is desperate.
I'm embarrassed to write this, but I have to. I'm doing this so publicly in the hopes that you read this.
Everyday I try and tell myself that what I did was right for me. That in the end, it would all be for the better and we could both move on with our lives.
But instead, everyday, I find my life a little empty. I have so much to be grateful for. Good friends, good grades, good family, good love. A good life.
Yet, every time I see your face, on those few times I check up on you, I feel nothing but longing. Because even though we failed to have the friendship I wanted to have, there was always the prospect of it. Despite everything, you were still my best friend, and I shunned you because it hurt too damn much.
I was a bad friend to you out of retaliation. Retaliation because you were being a bad friend to me.
But now I'm just unhappy.
I want you to know how much you mean to me.
When you were starting to play WoW with me, I couldn't believe how happy I was. Even when I knew it was just for a trial run, it made me giddy inside.
And I sit here watching this anime we used to bond over. And listen to the music I loved so much. All because of you.
And I just feel empty.
I truly wish we could start over again.
Sincerely,
Me
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