This person, who made this is awesome btw...
Team Tyrion!
Gotta love an opening where dwarf Tyrion is slapping around his silly nephew, Joffrey, who refuses to woo Sansa and show some respect to the Stark House. Tyrion isn't having it, reminding Joffrey of his duty to House Lannister. "I'm going to tell mommy!" SLAP! That's right. Wipe that smug little look off his creepy pretty face. I like that Tyrion has empowered himself, even though he is at a disadvantage. Even though, as he mentions to the other outsider, Jon Snow, that he will sharpen and use his mind since he is unlike his dashing brother Jaime and can't wield a sword, I get the sense that he could hold his own in a battle.
Coming and going
Everyone is leaving Winterfell (Stark Headquarters). The Royal Family + Ned Stark and his daughters are heading back to King Robert's home. Ned is leaving his wife, Catelyn and his sons, including Bran who is in a coma after being chucked off the side of a tower, to rule over Winterfell. Jon Snow is leaving to dedicate himself to the Night Watch, meaning he's going to take a vow of commitment and celibacy to the order. He is joined by Tyrion, who seems to find all this stuff amusing. Watching Jon say his good byes was very touching. He has a sword made for Arya (the young tomboy daughter), which she names the Needle, which he gives her before leaving. It's cute watching her try to show off her trained dire wolf, who doesn't seem to listen to her in front of Jon. Jon says goodbye to Robb, which was also pretty sad. Despite everything, him being a bastard and all, it's clear that Jon has created lasting relationships with his siblings. There is of course, one person who is not included in this sentiment.
Lady Stark continues to punish Jon for Ned's mistake. It really bothers me that she does treat him so poorly. I might be bias because he's so pretty, but Jon is a noble, kind man, and it isn't his fault Papa Stark couldn't keep it in his pants. When Jon goes to say good bye to Bran, who is being watched by his faithful mother, Catelyn acts harshly towards Jon, asking him to just leave, her underlying meaning basically saying, please finally get out of my hair. This is witnessed by Ned, who shows displeasure at her actions, yet still shows sadness because she is clearly exhausted from staying by Bran's side for over a month. Catelyn lashes out at Ned for leaving her, saying he has a choice, even when Ned believes he has none. Her fear of his infidelity soaks the conversation with tension. Ned and Catelyn always seemed to have a loving relationship, but there is clearly a sore spot.
Ned and Jon part ways at a fork on the road. I love Ned's interaction with Jon here. Despite everything, he loves Jon, reminding him that he is still his flesh and blood and that is all that matters. Jon asks about his mother, and Ned promises that next they meet, they will talk about it...Intrigue....why can't he know? Who is his mother and what is Ned hiding?
On the Road
Robert and Ned stop to rest during their journey. Robert has received news of Daenerys and her marriage to Khal Drogo. Robert is pissed about this move, seeing it for what it is; an alliance to strengthen the exiled house. It's a threat to his house and to their lands. Robert nearly spits out the word Targaryen; he led the rebellion against the Mad King, and it was something he was passionately involved in. Ned seems irritated by Robert's rage over this move; reminding Robert that they are protected from Khal Drogo's army by a small ocean; Drogo doesn't have ships. But Robert sees this as an ominous move and the wheels in his mind are working.
Kids these days...
Meanwhile, Joffrey is trying to woo Sansa, as per Tyrion's orders. As they take a walk, he begins to settle into the bad boy role, offering Sansa wine, which she hesitantly drinks, even knowing her father would disapprove. They come upon Arya, who is practicing sword play with the butcher's boy. Joffrey immediately begins taunting them, commanding the boy to fight him. When the boy refuses, Joffrey threatens him, carefully cutting the boy's face with his sword. Arya won't have it, and hits Joffrey with her needle. No blood is drawn, but Joffrey's pride is wounded. He attacks Arya, holding his sword to her throat. But just as he looks like his anger is taking over, Arya's dire wolf shows up, nearly ripping off Joffrey's hand. Arya tosses Joffrey's sword into the river nearby before running away with her wolf. Joffrey starts sniveling over his wound, and while Sansa, who doesn't really do much but act like the sissy she is, tries offering him help, he screams at her to go away. God what a baby!
Arya is hiding with her dire wolf. Realizing the danger the wolf is in, she forcibly scares the wolf away to protect her.
Arya is brought before the king, where Joffrey accuses her and the butcher's boy of beating him up. Cersei then demands her husband to punish Arya and her dire wolf. Because of the differing stories, Sansa is brought down to give her side of the story. Cersei sweetly coaxes her, while Joffrey stares at her with that creepy look. Sansa caves into weakness and claims she saw nothing. Displeased, Cersei still demands a dire wolf be killed. Because Arya's is missing, Cersei says a replacement will do, and considering that Sansa's dire wolf is the only one left, Cersei effectively punishes Sansa for not siding with Joffrey.
Ned asks Robert if this is his orders, quietly pleading with him in a subtle way; Robert is clearly torn. He doesn't wish to appease Cersei, but at the same time he must. His only answer is a mockery of his son, since a girl was beating him up.
Ned shows great devotion to his king, as he heads out to kill the wolf. He passes the Hound, Joffrey's bodyguard, who has the poor butcher's boy slug over his steed. It would be safe to say that he's dead. He quietly offers an apology to the dog before swiftly ending her life.
Back at home
Catelyn and Robb exchange words while looking over Bran. I love that Robb reminds her that she has other sons, including the youngest, Rickon. A fire interrupts their exchange, and after Robb runs off, Catelyn is confronted by a mysterious man with a dagger, intent on killing Bran. Catelyn shows fiery determination as she fights him off, holding off the blade in her own bare hands. Despite her fight, she seems to lose ground and just as she is about to lose, Bran's dire wolf comes in, tearing out the assassin's throat before laying protectively besides Bran. Catelyn looks in awe at the wolf, perhaps finally realizing how protective and important they truly are to her family.
Catelyn, disquieted by the night's events, goes on her own little investigation, returning to the site of Bran's fall. Realizing that where he fell is directly below a window, she heads up to the tower. While searching the ground, she discovers a long blond strand of hair.
Catelyn tells her closest men, including Robb, of her belief that Bran was thrown. She immediately says she will go to Ned, who is traveling down King's Road, to tell him this herself. She will be joined by a man of the house because she does not want to attract attention. Robb asks her of Bran, but she reminds him calmly she did all she could and this required her attention. I gained some respect for her then, not only because she tried fighting off the assassin, but also because she realized she had done all she could for Bran and that some other matters needed her attention.
Sex 101 with Dany
Poor Dany. Riding horses all day, then being ridden by her hubby at night, is taking its toll on her. We first see her looking very ill after riding all day, sore and barely able to walk. Then we see her being ridden by her husband, doggy style, as is the only position they know, holding back tears while she stares at her fossilized dragon eggs. Life sure is hard for Dany =/.
Finally, as her hands are being treated for what I'm sure are blisters from holding reins all day, her handmaidens get into a discussion about dragons. Apparently, dragons have been dead for years, slain by heroic men. When the only handmaiden who speaks her language, Doreah, offers her a silly tale about dragons and moons and baby moon dragons, Dany dismisses her other handmaidens to speak to this one. Apparently, Doreah was a prostitute, sold at the ripe age of 9 (!!!!) then taught for 3 years before she began her prostitution at age 13(!!!!!!!!!!!). Dany decides she wants to learn to please Drogo, and Doreah tells her to use her differences to her advantage. If Drogo wanted to ride doggy style forever, he would've married a Drothraki wife. But he has Targaryen Dany, and the bed is her ruling land.
We are then treated to a semi-pornographic teaching scene where Doreah is swiveling her hips as Dany lays back, learning to stare into her eyes. Yeah, this isn't awkward. But apparently learning by doing worked because Dany uses her new smooth moves on Drogo, and from beneath the eyeliner, he seemed pretty happy. Oh btw, and yea that's his bare butt.
Bran the ender
And at the end of all this, Bran's eyes pop open. He's alive! What will he say? Oh the cliffhangerrr!
Review
Another excellent episode. It's hard for me to review the storylines because they bounce around often. However, the scene changes are never too ill placed and I can remember what happans fairly well. The character development is moving along wonderfully. The fine line between good and evil is still very weak, so it's hard to easily decide who is evil. The only person I do not like in the story so far is Cersei and Joffrey, but Joffrey is mainly because he's such a sissy-nanny. Cersei is by far so complex. When she talks to Catelyn about the death of her first born son, you get the sense that Cersei is not making this story up. Her protectiveness of her children from Tyrion's silly banter is also very maternal. However, her thirst for blood, at the cost of a loving direwolf was heart breaking, and watching Ned do the deed, because apparently all he does is execute, is hard to watch, even when you don't see anything but Ned's face.
Robert is a great king, who tries to be fair, even with his chastising wife. Catelyn also earned a little bit of my respect with her strength as the lady of the house. I wish she'd treat Jon better, but they've departed from each other, so I doubt they will have much interaction from here.
I get the sense that Dany will become stronger, but there wasn't much going on in her end. I hope they move her storyline forward, but there is a lot going on.
And just because it's so freakn awesome...
Tyrion bitch slapping Joffrey Gift: A++++++++++
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